Desolate Collaboration
by Verboten Byacolate
Summary: The invisible poison seeping through your veins is nothing but a numbing, overwhelming bitter sadness. You mourn. [Spoilers for chapter 362]


A/N; I cried so hard. I'm still crying. It's so hard to comprehend, and I just… can't. My heart actually aches.

Spoiler Alert; Chapter 362. I fucking hate you.

Disclaimer; I'll kill you, Kishimoto. And I will GET MY DEI-CHAN BACK!!!

**Desolate Collaboration**

- o 0 o -

_: Tread softly on this hallowed ground :_

Red on black.

It seemed like such a fascinating combination—the two colors went together in perfect harmony, and effected different people's varying perspectives. Most times, red looked fantastic on black.

_But_, you realize with a flinch, gazing downwards, _not this time_.

Because there is something just too incredibly disturbing about seeing yours and your senpai's blood caking your gloves.

_: The angels hear your pleas_

_And they bite their tongues in sorrow :_

He was gone long ago, you think numbly, wanting to be ale to at least wrapping your fingers around his bloodied shoulders. The crimson liquid should be everywhere. It fills your senses, and you want to vomit, but you cannot leave him like _this_ for something like _that_. So you stay put.

At his would-be side, clinging to him (or, the after-effect of him) for dear life, because you didn't ever expect to feel this pain in your chest— in the place that could possibly be your heart.

You decide fervently that you do _not_ like this horrible feeling of absolute desolation.

You do not like being alone.

_: It's not worth the endless torture_

_You never thought the blow would be so harsh :_

How you lived, you do not know. What you _do_ know is that you would have preferred to die with him… them. Or at least have lost your memory. Because you remember the his last words to you.

'_I'm sorry, Tobi.'_

You swallow, and find that your throat surprisingly dry. Unlike your eyes, which slowly fill with something stinging the corners.

And you ask yourself, over and over, taking in your barren surroundings, _what could he have meant_?

_: To carry one on in your heart_

_Is rarely ever enough :_

Was he sorry for having to leave you that unexpected way?

Was he sorry for not letting you escape before detonating himself?

Was he sorry because he was aware that you would not go out artistically with him?

Was he sorry for leaving? Or, more specifically, for leaving _you_?

Alone?

Numb?

Crying?

_: Isolation, deprivation._

_The sadistic angels mock you, masochistic fool :_

You notice offhandedly that there are specks of yellow ash following you when you walk (_stumble_) mechanically forward. You want to reach out, because you know, _it's him!_, but you cannot. How much more of your sanity would be lost to a simple collection of pale remnants of… _him_?

_: Be still :_

Your legs give out, and you fall unto the hard, unforgiving ground. But you don't feel a thing.

Because, your mind replays the truth at a quick, continuous, agonizing pace.

_He's really gone._

And it feels like some hidden senbon has punctured your heart, and some unknown poison is infiltrating all that keeps you alive.

_: There are thorns embedded in your heart._

_Their scars shall indeed forever last :_

Because, you realize, finding yourself suddenly and completely alone, you already ache for his abusive attributes. You don't want him to go away forever.

You want so badly to have a say in the matter.

"Goodbye, Deidara-senpai."

Behind the protective orange mask adorning your face, you weep.

And you cease

to

exist.

_: Tread softly on this hallowed ground ..._

_For now is not the time to be joyful. Now is the time to mourn. :_

_- Fin -_

**My little brother asked, "So what're you gonna do about Sasuke?" after I told him the horrific news, and I realized…Will I become anti-Sasuke? Because, right now… I'm kind of hoping Orochimaru-infused-Kabuto will come kill him. Really. Die, Sasuke. Just fucking die. Without Deidara, nothing matters anymore. Life is a big, fat blank. I think I'll go emo now.**

**Written while listening to '**_**Our Solemn Hour**_**' by ****Within Temptation****. It was very good for this piece.**

**Rest in peace, Dei-chan. I love you with all of my heart and soul. And spleen. **

**-Bya-chan (who needs to stop crying before she passes out from dehydration)**


End file.
